well. even after all these years, the memory of you still creeps up onto me. more good ones than bad ones these days. or am i just choosing to remember the good things about you so it would be less painful? do i miss you? sometimes. there will always be a part of me who keeps wondering what could've been. i remember how much i didn't want to let you go. i remember that i wanted you to stay. even though we have said things that were better left unsaid, even though i destroyed the bridge between us, letting the flames reduce everything to cinders, i still wish we ended things on a better note. but the reality is that i fucked it up, you've fucked it up -- we were never meant to last. i thought we would be different. i thought we could make it. i thought we would have each other till this day. but alas, i was wrong. funny how visions of gideon is playing right now. if i had known that we were on borrowed time, i would've treasured the moments we had more. ending things...