when one talks about love, they usually imply the one that has a romantic connotation to it. after all, love as a word seems rather all-encompassing. the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful – it's a pretty loaded one.
however, romantic love has always been in the spotlight when it comes to art. no doubt people scoffed at romance as a genre but it's always there. it has become a constant that reimagines itself in a myriad of variations over and over again throughout time. we were taught of happily ever afters through literature and film (many other mediums of course) where it comes to the point where the idea of searching for a soulmate, a happily ever after should be the centre of our lives. of course, that's not the case. reality is much darker and much removed from the stories we saw, heard and felt. regardless of the stark disparity between fantasy and reality, the search for 'the One' has always been on the minds of humans since ever and it's not exclusive to our contemporary times. but right now, finding romantic love has changed so drastically compared to the times of one's parents due to technological advancements. online dating has become a norm rather than something that shouldn't be talked about. you could meet anyone with just a motion of your finger swiping left or right. this also means that technology has mediated how we communicate as individuals as well as how we connect with one another. somehow, all these new social cues have integrated seamlessly into our current contemporary culture while we also struggle to make sense of them. for example, what does it mean when they liked my picture on instagram even when they ghosted me? how long must i wait in order for me to text them back? should i even text them back?
frankly, i don't know. i don't think have been in a position where i've experienced this yearning for someone – the pining. everything so far has been just fleeting feelings fuelled by what-ifs and could-bes but nothing happened. the blame is shared by current circumstances and my unwillingness to 'put myself out there'. what does that even mean? to put oneself out there? it almost sounds like some sort of commodification. the commodification of companionship? maybe. it sounds like there's a market of single people waiting to be purchased by other single individuals. that aside, i'm always stuck in between these two sayings, 'if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. don't go chasing' and 'if you want it, you've got to put yourself out there'. i have friends who are currently in a relationship, they lean towards the former of the two. which made me inclined to do so too – i mean, they are in a relationship after all. who am i to say anything?
thoughts like these bring me back to writing. how does one write about this type of love when they know nothing of, even when it is something recognisable. they know it in an instant when they see it, hear about it, feel it but that raw emotion has always remained inaccessible due to the lack of experience. imagination can only get one so far and often it pales in comparison to the actual feeling. the only way to find out is to fall in love with someone. that sounds a lot scarier than you would think. to love someone, to me, it means trusting the other person enough to show one's vulnerabilities and praying to God that they would accept you and not use them against you. to quote the 1975, sincerity is (indeed) scary. well, nothing that is worth having is ever easy, let's be honest.
then i ask myself, am i even ready for a relationship right now? no. not really. but then again, who is ever ready? i guess the main motivation of this spew of words is the fear of missing out on this great thing called love. specifically romantic love. to put it very bluntly, 'what's the hype over this lmao'. what a terrible way to end this post but who cares.
- Gloria
Photo by Wyron A on Unsplash
frankly, i don't know. i don't think have been in a position where i've experienced this yearning for someone – the pining. everything so far has been just fleeting feelings fuelled by what-ifs and could-bes but nothing happened. the blame is shared by current circumstances and my unwillingness to 'put myself out there'. what does that even mean? to put oneself out there? it almost sounds like some sort of commodification. the commodification of companionship? maybe. it sounds like there's a market of single people waiting to be purchased by other single individuals. that aside, i'm always stuck in between these two sayings, 'if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. don't go chasing' and 'if you want it, you've got to put yourself out there'. i have friends who are currently in a relationship, they lean towards the former of the two. which made me inclined to do so too – i mean, they are in a relationship after all. who am i to say anything?
thoughts like these bring me back to writing. how does one write about this type of love when they know nothing of, even when it is something recognisable. they know it in an instant when they see it, hear about it, feel it but that raw emotion has always remained inaccessible due to the lack of experience. imagination can only get one so far and often it pales in comparison to the actual feeling. the only way to find out is to fall in love with someone. that sounds a lot scarier than you would think. to love someone, to me, it means trusting the other person enough to show one's vulnerabilities and praying to God that they would accept you and not use them against you. to quote the 1975, sincerity is (indeed) scary. well, nothing that is worth having is ever easy, let's be honest.
then i ask myself, am i even ready for a relationship right now? no. not really. but then again, who is ever ready? i guess the main motivation of this spew of words is the fear of missing out on this great thing called love. specifically romantic love. to put it very bluntly, 'what's the hype over this lmao'. what a terrible way to end this post but who cares.
- Gloria
Photo by Wyron A on Unsplash
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